ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
