Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
