Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
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