my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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