Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
