They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
