don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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