I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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