Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
