I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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