i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
