Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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