Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
