Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
