why didn't you poke me back
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize