That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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