they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize