First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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