i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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