Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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