Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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