3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize