margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
