16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You may now shotgun with the bride
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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