FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
