There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize