i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Randomize
