Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
