they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
