Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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