why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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