ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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