before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
