Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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