saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
