I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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