Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Randomize
