Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I met the friendliest cop last night
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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