She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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