If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
