At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize
