I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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