mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
