I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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