You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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