they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
