If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
