If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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