The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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