Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
