Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
You've changed since you got that strap on
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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