You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
