I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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