He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
