I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
