whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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