So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
